What about Spears?

Kevin Sheedy? Gas stations? Did you not notice that Britney is on our shores?

Koala’s ears?

I’ve got no idea how how cutting off koala’s ears is good preperation for fire season but I’m willing to do my part.

Stretch it out.

The Age and Sun are attempting to stretch out the girls in frocks shots as far as they can. And for dyslexic speed readers the Australian and Fin Review have something about super hero swans and stink remuses.

Form guide whip probe?

Are both these headlines overtly sexual today? Or am I misunderstanding the photo of the girl on the Sun?

Hung over?

It’s the day after a public holiday and our brains can’t handle words in the morning. So photos it is! The Fin Review shows us some thumbnails. The Age pushes an arty disgruntled tram patron portrait. The Sun promises us pictures inside! The Australian breaks the trend with the Christmas spirit and red ink. And the Weekly Times promises not one but two glossy mags to flick through to avoid words.

The big ones.

Today’s news is polarised by the big five. The most important news today is ; a positive financial outlook, the government’s stance on industry and the environment, the Melbourne Cup, Australia’s commitment to refugees and your dog’s photo.

Latest news.

So the leftist rag of communist propaganda is luring you into their labor loving agenda with their 2010 “footy” insight. And the mouthpiece for zenophobic right wing fundamentalism are running with the opposite aproach, telling you to purchace their paper and they’ll give you a free “wall chart”.